“Forgiveness is a choice, an act of your free will. It enables you to release all of those toxic thoughts of anger, resentment, bitterness, shame, grief, regret, guilt, and hate.” Dr. Caroline Leaf
In our most recent blog we talked about the power of forgiveness, and how through choosing this one act- it can set you free to live a life full of health and joy!
Now let’s be honest, we could all use some more of that.
The tricky thing about forgiveness though, is that it doesn’t always feel like the other person deserves it.
But the truth is: holding onto unforgiveness and becoming bitter only harms you. Often times, the other person doesn’t even know!
Did you know that the ability to taste something bitter is actually a defense mechanism to be able to detect poision before it enters your body?
Could you imagine walking around day to day intentionally taking poision?
That’s why we want to learn how to forgive- so we can walk through this new year without anything negative tying us down!
What’s the first step you can take toward forgiveness?
Make the choice.
Just because you choose to forgive does not mean what another person did is okay, or that it didn’t hurt. It just means that you no longer wish to let the situation have control over your life, so you’d rather let it go. Making this choice is a sign of true strength!
*It’s important to note that you can still implement healthy boundaries after forgiving someone. Just because you forgive does not mean that you have to allow the same situation to happen over again, or that you need to reconcile.
Take a walk in their shoes.
Try reconceptualizing the situation- knowing the hurt or pain that someone else was in when they hurt you can give you the ability to empathize with that person. Hurt people hurt people, and often times what they did is not personal! Jouraling about the situation or talking it out with a trusted friend is a good way to see something from an outside perspective, and might help you to move forward!
Say it out loud.
We believe our own voice more than anyone else’s. Forgiveness is a process, and it might be a choice that you have to make several times a day. But trust us- it gets easier! So everytime you feel that negative emotion coming up towards someone, tell yourself : “I choose to forgive. They hold no debt with me.”
We know that this can be a challenging process, but it’s one that is worth it! Just remember, no one is perfect. It might help you to remember a time that you’ve accidentally hurt someone else in a similar manner. How would you like that person to respond to you?
Here at Spectrum, we believe that you can overcome anything, especially with the right tools and help. If you think that you or a loved one could benefit from speaking with a member of our team, call us today!